I'm going to tell this story once - and then my blog will commence as normal. I wasn't going to put it on my blog at all, because my blog is my happy creative place.... like my little alternate universe from reality, ya know. Once in a while I'll throw in some fun stuff we did, but I only like to share the good stuff, because don't we all have enough bad stuff going on??
Today, I'm going to share some bad stuff. And, it sucks, but I'm dealing with it... dealing with it with some kick ass attitude. I figured if I share this here, I might save someones life. I mean, WOW, seriously, save a life, so that is why I am going to share my story.
3 weeks before CHA I was driving home from the post office like I do a few times a week. I pull up behind this car. There is a white bumper sticker with pink lettering that says “Feel Your Boobies”. I read it and giggled... ha ha, feel your boobies, that is cute.
I went home. I did not feel my boobies. I think God was talking to me, giving me little hints... ok, that was more like in your face, but like we all do, we don't listen when he talks.
One week later, I'm walking out of Walmart with my family. We had just stocked up on groceries and paper products... it was a big order. I felt an itch on my left boob. I slipped my finger under the top of the bra, swiped twice to scratch the itch - then went WHOA. What was that??? A lump??? I think God was shouting at this point. I got in the car and didn't say anything to anyone. I was hoping it was just due to my period and that after I got it the next week, it would go away.
It didn't go away. Now I am worried. I asked a few friends and they were convinced it was a cyst because it hurt. They say breast cancer doesn't hurt... they're wrong. And let me tell you, it did hurt. My boobs hurt for months. I thought it was something to do with the change of life, yada yada yada--insert excuse here______.
So, with that thought, it could be a cyst, I told my husband. I left for CHA and had a great time. I must say tho, all the physical labor of setting up the one show really made my boob sore.
Once I returned home, I made a doctors appointment that week for the next. Everything is a blur since that first mammogram, then a sonogram, then a biopsy.... then I had to meet with a surgeon, and an oncologist, then I had MRIs, CTs and a Bone Scan, all which came back to say that the cancer is contained in the breast.
I have been diagnosed with Breast Cancer. Wow, it felt so surreal. I mean this doesn't happen to a healthy 42 year old woman, with no trace of it on either side of her family... a person who isn't over weight (well maybe 10 pounds), a person who walks, drinks soy milk, cooks dinner for the kids every night... not out of boxes, but the old fashioned way, makes bread and cookies from scratch because I'm paranoid of the stuff they put in food... washes her grapes with soap... breast fed my kids, don't drink, don't smoke.... wth? I did everything right.
Well, Breast Cancer is RANDOM. In my short few weeks I have met woman with breast cancer from as young as 22 to as old as 82+. AND there’s all different kinds of breast cancer, I have come to find out. There is the one that feeds off of protein in your body, one that is from estrogen and progesterone... which I have none of those. Each type gets different types of treatment and drugs.
My regimen will be 4 chemo treatments every 3 weeks, then surgery, then 4 more treatments, then radiation.
It's going to be a long road. But, I'm ready for it. I'm going in with a winning kick cancers ass attitude. I'll be fine. No pity. Just say some prayers that all goes well.
Sorry such a downer, and no photos! I promise the next post will be filled with fun and pretties.
Take care... and feel those boobies!
This image can be purchased thru iStock here. All proceeds will be donated to the Susan G. Komen For the Cure. We just made our first donation this month. :)
Please do not steal this image, or karma will get you and bad things will happen!