Monday, April 12, 2010

R&R

Took a little R&R last week. My left arm hurts. I have to have physical therapy so I can raise it up. I can put it to my shoulder now, and sleeping isn't as painful.

So, the dreaded pathology report came back... and in the words of the PA they were disappointing. I hate writing this... makes me want to cry... but the chemo did not work on the tumor and it grew while I was getting chemo from 4 cm to 7 cm. They also removed 15 lymph nodes, and 8 had cancer.

I was mad.

I asked them why they didn't do surgery in September back when the tumor was little... she said I would have had to have chemo anyway... I knew that, but at least it wouldn't have grown. Then she said, but had we did that, and you'd gotten chemo, then a year down the road I might have gotten cancer again, because they didn't know that that chemo didn't work. So, in a weird way, it's better that it happened this way. Now they know what doesn't work, so I can have chemo that will work.

Yes, I have to have more chemo. I don't know what kind yet, but I have an appointment with my oncologist on the 19th. She had mentioned a chemo pill that I could take.

All my doctors are women, by the way. Except my radiologist, who is a little Russian guy.

Anyway, they also can take my tumor, grow it in a lab, divide it up and try different chemos on it and see which one kills it. It's called microass.... something like that. I remember when she was saying it, I kept thinking "small butt", lol! I did look it up and saw the real name online.

Science is pretty amazing. I don't know if my oncologist will order that test or not, but I will be asking her. Why mess around and give me more draino that doesn't work. OMG, chemo is horrid.

I am just the epitome of Murphy's Law. It's always been like that for me. Can't get anything right the first time!

I feel 200% better knowing that the cancer is out of my body, tho. The chemo is to get any little cancer cell that might be floating around in my blood stream. Then I will also have radiation to kill any cells that might be around the incision area.

skunky line2

On a happier note... I did lots of layouts last week. I know, gimp arm and all! I did 4 digi early on in the week, since I only had to use my right arm... then on Sunday I did a paper layout.

Here's the paper one, I used super duper old Making Memories paper, that I was hording... silly woman!

baby Emma


Couple of close ups, I used my Slice to make these shapes:
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I also made pillows, well, pillow slip covers. They're so fun and bright.... now I need a new sofa! LOL!
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I'll share my digi layouts later in the week.

Hope you have a great week, and please, please feel your boobies... I don't want you to go what I have to go through. Stop putting it off, just do it!

24 comments:

Christie said...

Chris, I am so sorry the news wasn't better. You seem to have a good attitude about your next hurdle, so I'm sure you will conquer this too! I will be praying for you! And I know what you mean about Murphy's Law. Happens to me all of the time, but mine are small in comparison to yours. Like having to take my glasses back 3 times to get them right.lol! ((((Hugs))))))

Melissa and Emmitt said...

hi chris!
you are the strongest person i have ever met.
i am sending you huge hugs and know that they will find the right chemo this time around.
i am thinking of you and just love all of the things you created. you are amazing!
xoxox
melissa

Vanessa (aka V, Nessa, oldschool) said...

seriously!!!
this is wrong my girl...I send you out the biggest hugs!!!
I hope for THE most skilled lab peeps to grow your sample & analyze it with a ton of experience & wisdom so they can give you the right chemo.
I know it is possible
I know you can be well
I will hold out hope for that
you are in my thoughts

Denise said...

I'm sorry you are going through all of that. They never seem to make it easy, especially when it's the most stressful.
I hope whatever they do next works for you.

designingdms said...

I'm so sorry to hear that the news wasn't better. I'm sending prayers your way and I hope the next chemo will be the one. Your positive attitude and your determination are amazing.

GLOANN said...

What can I say other than I'm so sorry the chemo was ineffective, but glad they have now removed that tumor and all from your body. Will be praying that the right chemo will be found quickly and that it will get everything. But now you! Hoping that someway, somehow the next round will be easier.

Jingle said...

Ummmm....so yeah, those are the super cute pillows! And I love your layout, too! Sorry about the bad news, but at least you are still well on your road to recovery. You WILL get through this!

Michelle said...

Remember what I said: IT'S OUT!!!! hang in there. Hugs...

Angie... by the said...

Well crud. That is just so aggravating. At least it's out, and at least you know you can do chemo. (probably not very good logic, huh?) lol You are going to kick it's butt, cause it's a micro butt, right? ;) Love ya! I'm sure this time will be better. Maybe a chemo that won't make you feel sick. ♥

Abby said...

I'm so sorry, Chris. You are a strong, beautiful woman and I pray God gives you courage and helps you through this.

Love your layout and pillows. I've been pulling out those older/hoarded supplies to use on my layouts and also been sewing a little, too. :)

Marlene said...

You have an AMAZING attitude and that will take you farther than you can imagine. Positive attitude trumps giving up every time! You WILL get better. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. In the mean time, you've done some fantastic projects! Keep up the positivity! Sometimes we all hit rock bottom before we can start to climb out and come out victorious.

Cindy said...

Chris I'm so bummed that you have to go the Chemo route yet again. It does suck but your positive attitude will help you so much. Remember too that we are all pulling for you. HUGS to you my scrappy friend!!

Julie Tucker-Wolek said...

*sigh* i am soooooooooooo sorry that u had bad news...i have been praying that the news would be better.....*sigh* i hope all gets better sooner than expected.....and *sigh* on a happier note...i absolutely loveeeeeeeeeeeee that precious lo...the colors are beautiful! :):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):)

okanogangirl said...

{{hugs}}

Jocelyn said...

Ok....so now you are on another journey with this horrid disease... I had so hoped that pathology reports would be good....I am so very sad tonight as I read this!!!

Our friend is taking the chemo pill as he is doing well with it!!! I just wish I were there to give you a big Hug and remain a support system for you!!! Know that you remain in my prayers!!!

Love that you are creating...that is a good thing and love the use of the slice...just awesome!!!

Hang in there!!! Love you girlie!!!

Marfa said...

I adore your pillows!!! You're so awesome...making stuff when you don't feel well. Inspiration to us all!
I will keep you in my prayers!

Rachel said...

Not what I wanted to hear :( SO sorry to hear that things aren't going as well as you'd like. I am praying for you!

Keep on smiling and keeping that chin up!

PattiM said...

Such a cute LO...Perfect for the baby picture...And you know I love your pillows. I have some material that I want to use to make some curtains that would cover my open cupboard where my pots and pans sit.
I'm glad they took that bugger out and I just know your going to kick its ass. See you on the mb.

Hugs,

PattiM
{Pattie's passion}

I Scrap So All Moments Are Remembered!

Cindy said...

Sending healing thoughts your way.

Samantha said...

I am so sorry the tests did not come back as you had hoped, but you are an amazingly strong and determined woman, and I have NO doubt in my mind that you'll BEAT this thing once and for all!!! YOU GO GIRL! Keep up that positive attitude and good news will come your way.

On a happier note, I think your pillows are totally fun! I hope your arm gets better so you can continue to be creative b/c I love seeing all your work!

HUGS my friend!

Ginny said...

I'm so sorry the chemo didn't work & you will have to suffer thru more. You are one strong, positive woman & that has to help. I'll be praying for you.

Debbie said...

Sending prayers for your Christine! Hugs!

Jan said...

Hi Chris, thanks for commenting on my blog. Heather has been telling me about you too. I'm so sorry your results weren't better. This journey we're on is so emotional isn't it? I just had my first chemo treatment last Friday and up until today, I didn't feel too bad. Just suffering from those annoying side affects, mouth sores, acid reflux and constipation. Sounds wonderful, doesn't it? Any advice for me? You sound like you have a great attitude and I think that makes a huge difference. You will get through this, it will just take a bit longer than you thought. My thoughts are with you,
Jan

Cindy Gay said...

Great stitching and collage of papers.